From One Parent to Another (continued from the home page)
Working with the horses in equine therapy, we realized how skewed the power dynamics in our family had become. Playing the games of adventure therapy, we came to appreciate the complexity and difficulty of recovery. Attending various workshops, we explored new communication techniques, skills that continue to serve us to today.
Each subsequent Family Weekend helped solidify our ability to become a more functional, happier family. A profound communication activity in the spring provided us with the opportunity to express our feelings and set new boundaries for relating. Summer plumbed the depths of our family dynamics as we came to see ourselves through each others’ eyes. Fall cemented all that we had learned and, most importantly, gave us the tools to help our son sustain his recovery as he prepared to come home.
Family weekends at the Ranch….these were special and sacred times where we laughed, cried, and bonded with other families going through similar experiences. Most of all, we watched in gratefulness and amazement as our son matured and our relationship with him thawed, gradually becoming warm, loving and stable. I consider these weekends to be a seminal life event and I know that as the years unfold this experience will continue to enrich our lives.
"To be brief, our son is doing fantastic. I am continously amazed at his ability to deal with all aspects of his life. If you have not heard about his trip to Japan this summer I would be glad to forward you some of his emails that he sent from Japan that give a great flavor of his trip with his brother. I can not thank you and the the In Balance staff/family enough for what you have done for my son and us. All I can ask is that you keep up the great work for all the others that need your help!"
"I had a great time (at the family weekend), and felt like all of the activities that we participated in were extremely beneficial. As you know we have a daughter enrolled in a program similar to In Balance Ranch Academy. They also have parent's weekends, so I feel like I am in the unusual position of being able to compare the two programs simultaneously. In comparing the two; I felt like I got much more out of our weekend at In Balance. I felt like your programs drew me in more because each of the activities was personally meaningful to me. They gave me some insights to see where I can make my own personal changes. Obviously the listwork couldn't be more personally meaningful, so as much as I didn't want to do that activity, I think it was the most valuable thing we did during the weekend. All of the other activities seemed to come together to give me some insights not only on my family dynamics, but also my parenting habits."
"On the plane ride home, I thought of some more items that I wished that I had put down on my critique of the weekend, and thought I would send them to you via email."
"I really appreciated the fact that In Balance Ranch Academy hires staff who are in recovery themselves. Not only does it provide for wonderful role models for the kids, but provides me with hope for a positive outcome for my son. Thank you so much!"
"I appreciate all of the homework assignments (reading, listwork and Al Anon) that you have given us as parents. It really drives home the fact that in addition to our son's recovery being his responsibility, his addiction has affected the family too. Before the kids left for their residential treatment programs, our family was in such a state of chaos that we were all floundering, and in spite of seeing multiple therapists, no one ever looked at our family as a whole. Thank you for seeing our son's recovery as also a family systems process so that we can all get better."
"That's all! Thank you for facilitating such a wonderful and meaningful weekend. We think our son is in great hands. Thank you for all that you do."
"Our family has benefited by our son's experience by attending the Family Weekends, and in our son’s home visits where he has shared with us the insightful and revealing ways in which our family can learn to improve our mutual communication. His direct, yet non-threatening and sensitive communication has helped us to better understand our own tendencies, miscommunication, and ways of avoiding issues. In all, we see our son, who was so troubled and who we almost lost only one year ago, becoming a wonderful loving young man who will make a real contribution to a better world."
"We are not able to adequately express our gratitude for what the staff at In Balance Ranch Academy has given to our son and our family. I am confident that any family that is fortunate enough to be able to have their son be part of this experience will also feel the same as we do."
“Thank you again for a life-changing weekend. It was more powerful than I can begin to describe. I know I will spend the next few months getting more and more meaning from it as I await the next Family Weekend with excitement. When we first told our son that we were going to bring him to In Balance Ranch Academy, we described it to him as a gift. Now I know what an understatement that was. We feel so indebted to you for building such an incredible staff and program to help him grow. Again, words fail me…”
“Just received the IBRA calendar in the mail today…awesome!! The “Dream” story gave me chills and brought tears to my eyes. What a gift. Words alone can’t express the joy and thanks we hold for you and your dream, and the incredible positive effect it has had on our son and our family. Thanks for sharing and touching our lives. We will treasure it and this time we have with you forever.”
“This is the letter that all parents want to frame for prosperity. Not that we would have ever done different, but it’s all been worthwhile. All of you at the Ranch have been there for our son and he in turn has stepped up to the plate. You are setting him up for success and I just want you to know that I don’t take that for granted, not for a minute. So..a humble thank you.”
“I am glad to know that you (Patrick) have such clarity with your vision, with your dream. My wife and I have been heartened by our conversation with our son lately. Sounds like he is getting on a good path. Thanks so much for the work you and your staff have done with him.”
“There were lots of thank yous that I meant to say during my little speech at our son’s graduation. However, I was at a point where serious amounts of tears were ready to flow. All the staff made a huge impact on our family. We feel lucky to have found In Balance Ranch Academy and to have encountered people of dedication, courage, and empathy…many thanks.”
“I wanted to thank all of you again for all of the kindness that you showed me during my visit. Based on glowing recommendations, we were already completely committed to having our son come to IBRA, but meeting all of the people has made the transition so much easier for me. The staff and students I talked with there were inspiring. While I do not underestimate the work ahead for our son and the rest of our family, I am confident that our son will thrive there and find a new direction. Thank you for making this opportunity available to us. Two months ago, we were feeling very hopeless.”
“What a great Family Weekend for our son and our family. Thank you so much for your part in our family and your wonderful connection with our son. Mere words cannot express our appreciation! Our son has recently had his one year sobriety – it is a fabulous time to celebrate!!!”
“There are no words to describe how happy I feel about our son and his new life. Whatever work he did down at the Ranch really had a tremendous effect on him and I am glad to say that I have been less worried than I have been in years. I can tell that our son has made a deep psychic change. I look forward to the future now, rather than dread it. Thank you once again for helping us all have a meaningful life again.”
“I guess I’ve been ruminating a bit to try to figure out how best to thank you (and everyone at In Balance Ranch Academy), and express our gratitude. Sadly, the more I’ve contemplated writing you this letter, the more I’ve come to the conclusion that there aren’t any existing words that adequately express the good you guys are doing. We both realize that our son still has a long way to go. But seeing how far he’s come in just a couple of months is truly mind boggling. It was also sort of interesting to watch the small changes he went through over the course of the Family Weekend. Please accept our thanks & gratitude – and blast the English language to hell for not having the right words to emphasize our feelings properly!”
“Now that I have some distance from the Family Weekend, our son’s progress is incredible!!! You and everyone at In Balance Ranch Academy have accomplished nothing short of a miracle!!! I only wish there were some way to bottle what you do, and bring it home so we (and everyone else who needs it) could accomplish the same thing without sending kids away. I was truly blown away by a couple of things while we were there. First, our son really GETS it. He knows and completely understands what his challenges are - in order to function well on his own. He definitely is in need of a bunch more practice doing so, but the fact that he owns his bad habits, and is committed to changing them – is wonderful beyond words! Second, I never ever anticipated that the Family Weekend would be so good for his siblings. Without exception – every single one of them learned a lot. His sister was impressed because she never imagined that this kind of an experience could be both didactic and fun. She was beyond enthusiastic coming out of the weekend!!! Sorry for the length of this letter, but I thought it was important for you to hear all of it. It was just impossible to write you about anything, without also acknowledging the incredible things you guys are doing at the Ranch. All I can say is: I’m a believer!!! Thank you In Balance Ranch Academy. Thank God for making people like you who care so incredibly much about others that you give a huge part of your life to making all this happen.”
“WOW – this 5-day hike sounds GREAT! I must tell you that I am SO pleased with the program and with my son’s success and his changes. My weekly phone calls barely feel like enough – we are having REAL conversations for the first time. If you have any parents that are on the fence, or hesitant about the cost, I’d be happy to share my experience, brief though it is, my son is reaching new levels of depth in his growth. I’m thrilled!!!”
“I seriously could not believe the change in our son when he came home for Thanksgiving. He was absolutely independent, willing, and probably responsible for more smiles then the other two kids combined!! Suffice it to say he was sufficiently entertaining to keep the other kids amused. He gave some pretty profound advice to his little sister about going to a party. “My advice to you is to go the party. It’ll probably be really fun, and you might meet a bunch of people you like. If you don’t like them, just stay positive, and keep yourself in a good space till it’s over.” He hugged his sister and told her he was really proud of her. It struck me that for the first time in her life; she has “Billy” as an older brother. A concept both touching, and HIGHLY effective…Just wanted to let you know the change is just spectacular. So…now that I’ve talked (or written as the case may be) your respective ears off – I’ll end with a THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!!!!! You and everyone at the Ranch ARE miracle workers and have been very much on our minds and in our hearts this holiday. PS – the barbecued chicken and biscuits we had at last Friday night’s dinner were genuinely just about the best I’ve ever had – so many thanks to the cook!!!!! PPS Shannon – I don’t think you’ll ever know what a profoundly wonderful effect you’ve had on our daughter – but you have, and I just wanted to acknowledge and thank you for taking the time with her. I hate to say it, but maybe you guys should charge more. We’re getting two for the price of one right now!!!”
“I am now dealing with a son who is: rational, perceptive, analytical, emotionally secure, and amazingly mature. The absence of a chip on his shoulder, and his candor amaze me. Something about what you have done with him over the last few months makes me think that we may have back the boy we once knew. For the first time in his life, our son seems to have the inner peace he has often lacked, a knowledge of the challenges he will face, and a growing number of tools to help him to deal with those challenges. I don’t know where he is in the spectrum of your expectations for a boy who has been at the Ranch for the time he has been there, but I do know that my wife and I could not have done for him what you have enabled him to do.”
“I wanted to write and tell you what a lovely tradition you have there with your graduation ceremony! Our son was so “wowed” to hear so many people at one time in one place say nice things about him. It was cool for him and cool for us to hear also. Thank you for everything!
“Wow – so much positive energy at the Affirmation Ceremony. Tremendously helpful – each leader did a fantastic job. I am really grateful for the positive approach and the amazing insight of all the staff.”
“In Balance Ranch Academy has made the difference between helping our son to succeed instead of dooming him to fail. He has completely changed, for the better, as well as the way in which we resolve family conflict.”
“I want to extend, on behalf of myself and my wife, our deepest and most sincere appreciation for all the work you have done with our son. Words, printed or otherwise, cannot come close to expressing our appreciation for the In Balance Ranch Academy program, its excellent staff, and its outstanding community of young men. From therapy to group work, from the academics to the adventure experiences, from the positive peer culture, to the Twelve Step program, all the pieces of the IBRA experience have worked to help my son heal and grow. He has shown tremendous growth in many areas of his life and shown that he now has a healthy and positive vision for the future. The program has truly healed him physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. I applaud you for your outstanding efforts. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for the bridge you have built for my son. I am truly in your debt forever.”
“My son has become a new person. His sense of self, connection to people, nature, and animals, and overall understanding of the human condition, is exemplary, and has emerged as a result of his experience at In Balance Ranch Academy. The recovery process is substantiated with the Twelve Step program, equine therapy, personal and group therapy, individual trauma therapy, public service, Indian traditions, and communion with nature. Factors of nutrition, physical exercise, and both spiritual and emotional well-being round out this experience. In all, we see our son, who was so troubled and who we almost lost only one year ago, becoming a wonderful loving young man who will make a real contribution to a better world. We are not able to adequately express our gratitude for what the staff at IBRA has given to our son and our family. I am confident that any family that is fortunate enough to be able to have their son be part of this experience will also feel the same as we do.”
